Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it's like iHOP with fire
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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