I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
