I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
