from now on my penis is your penis
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
