Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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