I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
