I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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