I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
