i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize