i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
