your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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