i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
