Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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