She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
