lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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