i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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