peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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