have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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