I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
