What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
