so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
