oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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