Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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