Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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