There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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