Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
