Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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