I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
