One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
