Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
