I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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