I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
