yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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