I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
