I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
