I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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