is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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