cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
