where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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