No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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