just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
These tits shall not be calmed
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