And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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