I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize