I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
