Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
