If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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