do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
