i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
