the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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