Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
