wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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