Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
