I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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