We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
