Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
