He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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