my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
