Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
