This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
