After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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