Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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