He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
