I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
