It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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