He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Randomize
