Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
BRING THE BAGELS
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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