she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
