i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
