I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
