I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We're not piercing ourselves today.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
