Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
